So, bundled up and made some coffee, and knew that I had to write.
I have stories for you, and photos from vacation which are only available to view right here right now so c'mooon down and see why it's so good to get out on vacation whenever you can. Ok, it was actually my cousin's wedding, but my sister and I went to represent the family since others were unable to go. Fuck, I was going to go even if they were. Wasn't gunna pass this up!
So, as you can see.... I had fun. From partying with the mafia (pretty sure they were, I was at the hotel bar smoking and drinking with rich Mexican families til 2am, they loved me), to drunken swimming in the middle of the night, to dancing in the streets in the middle of the afternoon.... it was a totally different life experience I shall never forget. And I still can't feel my toes from dancing at the wedding!
I felt free, my mind was at ease, and I needed zero sleep and had no hangover. It was if I was a completely different person down there, in the sun, just having fun! Everyone I met was so nice and adventurous, full of life, and I fed off of that. I soaked it in, knowing that when I got back, it wouldn't be the same. It make me want to stay up and enjoy every minute I could.
Also, a wakeup call to how I have been viewing life and what really matters. So, I made a promise to myself, to let go of fear, smile as much as possible, and make each day count. Even if I'm feeling shitty.
That's ultimately how to live life, to make it count each moment instead of dreading the moment, hoping something better will come in the future. The moment to make it better, is IN that moment -- we have the choice of making things better, more positive for ourselves. It's just easier to be depressed and dwell in the negative. I've been dwelling for years, and have finally woke up to seeing life in the light. I'm still gunna wear black and be a badass, but I'm happier and feel more like myself than I've ever been.
It's so hard sometimes, to even fathom letting go of everyday problems, and I'm not saying to fuck off your job, and throw your taxes out the window. I'm saying, change the way you look at your problems, look at a problem as a chance of an opportunity to make things better for yourself. Have I been enlightened? Maybe. Is this going to be a permanent change and I'm going to be a walking ray of sunshine? Working on it. Being happy takes a lot of work for some of us, and some no longer know the meaning of happiness. But while we can, remember that YOU make your own reality. YOU are in control of your life, because it is YOURS. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Getting off of the brain train here....
I am happy to announce that Super Happy Funtime Burlesque is going on tour next month, and I am privileged to say I have a couple of acts I am featured in, as well as still being a vocalist!! Shit worked out, and thanks to my adventure, my fear of touring has lessened, and now it's more of an adventure I know, I need to go on. If it turns into a shitshow, at least I experienced it rather than sitting in the dark, wondering if it's a shitshow or not *pause, pet kitty, she's been so needy today* and then regretting never knowing.
Also, I am working on a new script -- a Western! I've never been in a Western before, and am going to play the lead badass chick with a really, really big gun (well, at least I'm hoping it will be a double barrel *wink*) We start shooting in May, in between my tour and will be camping out. ..
......Ok.....just try to picture me... ME... camping.... I mean come on. I started laughing in a panic when the director told me that, but it's only for a couple of nights, so instead of driving back an hour during the day to shoot at night, I might as well just deal with it and do something new. Right?
Got any advice for someone who fears camping? Seriously... hehe... ERRGHHH!!
Well, gotta get back to life off the cybernet, it's Black Friday, and I have to vacuum.....
Have a good holiday, and if you are traveling, don't hit any animals. 20 points for zombies.