The video you better had watched before reading this, is a audition video for a college friend of mine, who had asked me to be her model for The Next Level of Cosplay, where hopefully she will be picked for an amazing scholarship to a makeup school in Los Angeles! Awesome, right?? So, this happened on a night I was able to come to Grand Rapids and hang out at Dog Story Theatre with her and our videographer/photographer and Clark Kent (at least I always thought he was) Chris Kotcher. It was an incredible feeling, to gab away, sitting and not knowing or seeing, just feeling light mists of color tickling my skin. She was very talkative as well, the whole talk was fun and casual. When I actually was in front of a mirror (after my second beer, pee while you can) I was astounded by what she had accomplished. The patterns, the shading, the detailing -- as I blabbed away in her ear, she turned me into the Empress of the Arachnids (Arachnoss? Dr. Who fans, help me out here). It was a unique and liberating experience, as it was my first full-upper-torso bodypainting project. The liquid latex made the pasties stick a little harder than comfy but hey, I'm good friends with body latex and pasties. So it worked out. I will have photos up to share when I get the O.K from her after the competition. The last thing we need is a stupid mishap and miscommunication with the legalities of the competition, so hold your horses.
I also was a part of a fashion show downtown Detroit at the Northern Lights Lounge sponsored by Noir Leather (my retail job). The theme was classy 1920s boudoir called "Bangs Vs. Blondes." The fashion line was a Boudoir Lingerie line called "What Katie Did" based out of the United Kingdom. I'm usually in leather and chains for these types of events, so satin and stockings was certainly a refreshing and somewhat scary experience. I'm not used to fragile pretty things on me, so the fear of breaking a strap and catching hosiery on foreign objects was a constant paranoia. But, rather be aware than ignorant, and there goes my wardrobe and any other opportunities. You gotta be careful, mindful when modeling. If you didn't make it, you better be respectful and give it back the same condition it was given to you.
So, the whole thing... Antimatter... the concept of a particle of energy that has the capability of appearing static and mobile at the same time, due to popping in and out of multiple dimensions, at the same time. This, can be relatable in the brain, not literally. I am not that cool, like Vision. (Marvel, comics, anyone?) You live in one life where things are swirling around in a bunch of directions, and the only way to make any sense is to back up and take one thing at a time, delicately and precisely, attempting to figure out what to do with all this swirling pile of stuff. In another world, stuff is happening, serious shit that is completely out of your control; and when you try and reach out to fix it you get poked and burned for doing so (figuratively, emotionally). So, the only option is to stand back, and be still, trusting that the things out of your control will come to some sort of solution, and if and when I am needed, I will be there ready and waiting. But, retreating into stillness is hard, especially when usually silence means there's a very deep rabbit hole of which I have slipped in, spiraling deeper and deeper into depression. So, balancing out chaos and stillness, inside and out, while maintaining sanity, grace, humility, and self-confidence. I climbed out of the bottle, which usually is the vessel for traveling down the rabbit hole... so hopefully now I can face stillness in a peaceful, brighter situation. Like, finding there is a big tree in an open field, by the rabbit hole. I just needed to look up and see it, feel the sunshine, the wind, the peace... the flow of the universe....
Now I feel like doing yoga...
Anyway, I have been popping in and out of social media, now is not the time for me to be in a spotlight, I have a lot of learning and growing to do that I'd hate myself if I didn't try. In the long run, I will be a better artist and Being for taking this precious time and help myself become a better person NOW, than in 20 years. Chances don't come around that much later in life, so I'm told. And mortality and health are two hot topics on my brain nowadays.
How do you learn how to balance without falling? You can't. You can't learn anything without making mistakes. You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't pay attention to what you did to put yourself in the situation in the first place. If you can't see why the Universe gave you the situation you're in, then you need to spend more time with yourself and figure out your purpose. Because if you don't know your purpose, then how will you ever accept and learn from the lessons put in front of you? It's like reading an essay with no set statement, just a bunch to jargon on a page that gets confusing and frustrating, ultimately ending up in a pile of ashes.
Yes. Ashes. As in I burned the fucker. Fuck essays. :D
In conclusion ladies and jellyspoons (Eddie Izzard) I hopefully will have photos from my latest photoshoot up in the next couple of weeks. I am pleased to announce I have been chosen as this year's model for the Detroit Erotica Ball 2015. If you are squirming in your pants and want to come see all the crazy sexy performances and art, and dress to impress BDSM style, get your read on HERE and tickets are sold at Noir Leather (stop by and see me) and at Showtime Clothing. Hope to make it myself, and so I shall see you there.
Love Yourself. Trust Yourself. Be Yourself. <3